Ideally, coaches are supposed to help you grow as a writer.
And they do for the most part, especially if your coach is kind
with her remarks and her attitude towards you is positive. But
what if it isn’t?
The first thing that it is important to realize is that when our
coach criticizes us, she is not personally criticizing us but our
work. Yes, I know that our work is an extension of us, and that we
become very intimately involved with our work. But we are NOT
our writing. We are merely associated with our writing.
The second thing we must realize is that when our coaches are
belligerent, this has very little with us and much more to do with
who they are as people. Belligerent coaches are belligerent people,
and such people exist whether or not we run into them as coaches,
doctors, or spouses. So, we have to know that this has NOTHING
TO DO WITH WHAT WE DO OR DON’T DO. THEY JUST ARE
WHO THEY ARE.
The third thing that we should realize about belligerent coaches
is some coaches believe that they must be tough in order to show
you the tricks of the trade. But is this really the case? Can’t kind
tips and tricks also work?
I can certainly attest to the fact that they do work because I have
been a teacher for over twenty years myself. And I NEVER PUT
MY STUDENTS DOWN. I always help them. I am always positive.
And, yes, they grow as a result of it.
So, tough instruction isn’t necessary. Just kind, persistent
instruction presented constructively rather than destructively. So,
which would you rather be? A kind teacher/coach or a belligerent
one? You may have less of a choice about this than you think you